“People often say that, in a democracy, decisions are made by a majority of the people. Of course, that is not true. Decisions are made by a majority of those who make themselves heard and who vote – a very different thing.” – Walter H. Judd

I’ve been planning to write about this for some time, so when I hopped over to Jamie Ridler Studios this morning, I knew today was the day to stop editing – to just be me in all my messiness. Jamie asks us acknowledge what our bodies truly desire. She references that beautiful poem by truth-teller Mary Oliver:

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves. Wild Geese

Jamie asks, “What does the soft animal of your body wish for?”

I wish for A LOT, but today I’m going to be very literal and only mention the things my body wants.

My body wishes for bulky, scratchy wool sweaters to keep me warm while I stand, inhaling the warm richness of the ever new but always ancient carpet of leaves and pine needles under my feet as the autumn sun casts lacy patterns through the branches of the towering spruce trees and pretends that it still has the power to beam down warmth through the icy autumn morning.  My body wishes for aching muscles from climbing a mountain to “see God in his splendor” and “hear the text that nature renders.” Then it wishes to replenish itself with a beautiful rack of lamb and a hearty merlot before falling into to a warm jacuzzi tub filled to the brim. My body wishes for challenges and pampering, but most of all, my body wishes for home.

What does the soft animal of your body wish for?

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy visiting with people – I just like them to leave at some point.  Time alone is like water for me – I can do without for a little while, but too long without my silent time and my vision starts to blur and the world turns topsy-turvy.

Happily, my world is back in order today. Everyone is back where they belong, and I have had time to sip my coffee in peace on the back porch as the sun dances through the fluttering leaves – leaves that I now have time and space to hear as they play in the wind trying to hold on for one more second before finally letting go and floating down to cover my porch. I have almost returned to sanity. The silence heals my frazzled nerves and helps me find my way back to peace. This is my happy place.

Where is your happy place? What keeps you sane in the midst of the chaos?

Fall weather has finally arrived. In my part of the world, that means one final splash of green as fall rains and cooler temperatures revive the land baked dry by the oven that central Texas becomes in the summer. Cool mornings and warm afternoons finally allow us to open windows and let a little fresh air into the house.

As I’ve said before, fall is my favorite time of year. It is the time of shedding the old and preparing for the new.  It is the time to make sure you have everything you need for winter’s rest and rebirth in spring. As I prepare for the big changes coming in my life this spring, I’m making lists and checking them thrice. Lots of last minute preparations to be made.

When I read Jamie Ridler‘s wish prompt today I was struck once again by how timely her questions always seem to be. Her simple and profound questions always take me to the place I need to be. Today she asks, “What do you wish to step into?”

I wish to step into strength with a capital S. I wish to step into the strength to stop justifying my decisions, to stop doubting myself , and to make the difficult choices as I step into my new life.

I wish for the strength to step into life fully committed to my course instead of tiptoeing slowly forward, always prepared to retreat. I wish for the strength to step into the moment and to honor every moment without constantly worrying about where I’m going or where I’ve been.

I wish to step into the strength to honor MySelf by being honest about my desires, authentic in my relationships, and true to my inner voice as I embark on a new adventure.

How about you? What do you wish to step into?

Sharing this movie with my daughter

This poet kicks some serious ass.  Say, “Yes,” to this poem.

I love, love, love this song. Enjoy.

When I first found  Jamie Ridler Studios, I almost cried. Jamie Ridler is waging a war on disbelief on behalf of those of us who still want to believe in the power of wishes. This week, she asks, “What do you wish to have in abundance.”

My first thought was to think of all the things I feel might be lacking in my life. I could always use more money, more friends, more time, more inspiration, more help with the housework – blah. However, after sitting with the question for a bit, I felt a tiny shift. Sure more money and more of all those things might make life a little easier, but they won’t bring me joy.

Last night, my little angel came up with the idea of having a tickle contest. She’s five, so the rules were basically that she got to tickle me as much as she wanted. Normally, she is not that great of a tickler, so I went along with it.  Then she found the spot right in the middle of my arm pit. I squirmed and giggled and tried to wiggle away from her. Having finally gotten a reaction out of me, she was not about to give up. She planted herself on my chest and used her legs to keep my arm raised as she continued to torture me. Tears streamed down both of our faces as our voices cracked in high pitched laughter. We screamed and wiggled and tickled. We laughed until we couldn’t breathe, caught our breath, and then started all over again.

That is what I wish to have in abundance – laughter that brings tears to your eyes and joy to your heart; laughter that leaves your abdominal muscles aching the next day; laughter that reminds you of the things that really matter in life; laughter that creates life-long memories.

The school picture that I will still laugh about in twenty years - my sweet, goofy angel

That is what brings me true joy in my life.

What do you wish to have in abundance?

Before spring comes the winter’s rest. A time of rejuvenation and restoration. A time of preparation for the arduous work of rebirth and growth.

Before winter comes my favorite season – fall: the time of last minute preparations; a time of shedding all that is old and no longer useful; a time for clearing out the space to prepare for the new growth of spring.

Getting ready to create some more space by getting rid of the old and no longer useful

So on this last day of summer, I look forward to clearing out my physical and emotional space. I’m starting with clearing out my physical space. I am getting rid of all that is not precious or extremely useful. I am clearing out the clutter to create a peaceful space for my winter’s rest. I am working towards getting back to having a more portable lifestyle – able to quickly and easily follow the winds of change without having to call movers or rent storage space. I yearn to get back to the point where my possessions reflect my values rather than having them remind  me that I have allowed myself to become shackled to a lifestyle that I never wanted.

So that’s my first fall project. What preparations are you making this season?

I had to sit with this for a few moments. I wrote a whole laundry list of things I want less of: less padding in my ass, less debt, less mess, less family drama – especially that of the manufactured-for-the-sake-of- drama variety, less self-doubt, less crap tucked in the back of the closet, less, less, less.

What it all boils down to is I want less of the things that don’t really matter to me. I want fewer belongings and their accompanying obligations. I want to fit everything I need in the back of my car. I want less house and the requisite financial obligations and headaches that come with being a homeowner.  I fantasize about the simplicity of living in a tiny house again. I want less work, less stress, and less cleaning. 

I wish for less so that I can have more. More freedom, more time, more peace.

My Tiny House where I lived in the summer of 2003

I wish to return to living simply so that I can spend more time enjoying my wild and precious life and less time trying to manage it.

So now, fellow searchers, what do you wish to have less of?